i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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