Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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