How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
