can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I want to make a zoo with you.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
