Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
