dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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