We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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