Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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