He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
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He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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