I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
