You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
