Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
