and you said cock pushups were impossible
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
How does it feel to date your dad?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
