Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
