I wannas sexs uuuuu
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
