i can't believe i had my finger in that
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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