I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
