Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
