I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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