I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
