i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
