I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
