They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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