Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The beer is more important than you right now.
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Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
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This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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