Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
