i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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