i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
