I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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