dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
