47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
