how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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