We won't sleep together?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
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