Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
