It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
