I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
