I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
