Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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