She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
