I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
