Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
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