Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
