Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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