Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
