Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
