Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
