I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
And then my night got REAL pukey
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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