Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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