capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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