Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
