I met the friendliest cop last night
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
