I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
