just come out here and I will go home with you...
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
