i already hear my dad disowning me
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
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What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
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low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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