I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
