Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
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