i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
