The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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