Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
