how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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