I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
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She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
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I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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