tell your sister to shave her snatch
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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