I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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