You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
