You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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