This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
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