you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
