I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
