So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
