If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
