Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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